5 Greeting Cards That Will Get You Laid on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is all about romance. It’s about love and affection. It’s about flowers, candy, and heart-shaped everything. It’s about showing the one you love just how much they mean to you.

But let’s get real. 

You also want to get laid. 

Forget those conversation hearts and boxes of chocolates. Why make your lover read between the lines when you can tell them what you really want? 

That’s where I come in. 

Barring an unfortunate case of food poisoning, my naughty Valentine’s Day cards are 99.9% guaranteed to get you some action. From the in-your-face to the sweet and sexy, I have the perfect card to help you seal the deal on February 14th.

These Holes

No round peg in a square hole here. You were built for each other, so get to work!

P.S. As one of my newest Valentine’s Day cards, These Holes is already a hot seller this season. I guess you could say that my customers have really been “open” to it!

Let’s Celebrate in My Vagina

Now this is a party that deserves an RSVP of “Heck, yes!”

Smother Your Face

This one is perfect for those literary types who want to be wooed with words and visuals.

I Want To Be 

Pop open a bottle of bubbly and slide this card across the table. 


My Other Ride

Nice cars are a turn-on for me, so I especially love this illustrated Tesla with the saucy bumper sticker on its rear.

Still Looking for a Naughty Valentine’s Day Greeting Card?

If you still haven’t found the perfect Valentine’s Day card for your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, or whoever it is that makes your heart sing, check out my other popular naughty cards from In A Nutshell Studio. 

My personal faves: 

When you know, you know.

Graphic included for your reference.